say good-bye to.....

the blog. i am done with blogging for now. as if you couldn't tell. i have decided to stop because i either have too much to say, or not enough. in recent days my life has changed and has put things in a different light. i need to step away from this to stay in line with what i need to. life is tough..... everybody's is.

here i sit.....

wondering what to write. wondering what's okay to write. wondering if it's worth it. i vowed to write every week to show my gratitude. that got boring really quick. (sorry kass. i'm not as talented as you.) then i said i would just write the going on's here at home. boring. i don't have the drama, excitement, adventure that is needed for an interesting blog. however it's been a long time, and i feel the need to update. so bear with me.

school ended, and hannah did wonderful. she loves school and trys really hard. she received two awards. one for outstanding achievement in english, and being a good citizen. way to go girlie!!

brad and i were together for our 10 year anniversary. that was our first one together in 4 years. we didn't do anything spectacular, just being together was enough.

the summer was hot!! we invested in a swimming pool us, and we definitely got our money's worth. the girls swam in it daily, and they both had swimming birthday parties.

sandee, brad's mom, came for a visit. we had so much fun. she absolutely LOVES the girls and spoils them ROTTEN!! she's a hardworking, brave woman who's starting a new phase in her life, and i hope it works out for the best. we will actually see her soon as she's coming in a few weeks.

then my dad, brother and nephew came to visit. we just hung out at the lake the whole time it seemed. they came at a busy time with school just about to start and frg stuff (a nightmare) so i hope we'll visit again soon.

Then brad was gone half of aug and sept. this is what is making me avoid blogging as i have very little time. and when he is home, i don't want to sit in front of the computer. you understand.

he's been told he's deploying after january but before march. it's not afganistan, it's the other place. well iraq is sending troops home early, so it's hard to think that they won't change it to afganistan. that would suck... big time. i thought is was okay with deploying, i have to be, but some days i'm not sure. i want to go running home to mom, but the other half feels okay with staying. i have made great friends here, and know i can depend on them if i need to. but nothing is as comforting as a hug from your mom, no matter how old you are. we still have time to decide. i'll keep you posted.

then just as fast as it came the summer ended. hannah started second grade and ainnsley started pre-k...... all day, everyday!! first day she loved it. then she hated it.... for about a week. so she needed new shoes, as she grew big time this summer, and they were pink and sparkly. she was so excited to show her teacher that she has had no problems since.

so it's just me and breonna all day. some days i feel like we are just in the car from 7am to 3pm, but others we are so bored. it's fun to just have us. i feel like her first year we were moving, traveling, settling that it just flew right by, so this will be fun!

so that's where we are. much the same, but soon to be much different.

happy, sad, happy, sad.....

well it's been an interesting week or so. our family is well. breonna is a walking machine. it's so fun to see her pride as she struts around the house. the older girls are enjoying the summer weather. they love playing out in the water. i love ease dropping to hear what made up situation they've created. oh the simplistic lives of children. this is our first summer together as a family in four years, and we have great plans.

brad was promoted from 2nd lt to 1st lt. not really sure what that means, but i know it come with a pay raise, so i'll take it. he absolutely loves his job and it was wonderful to be part of his ceremony. i'm so proud of him and all he does for our family. he is the love of my life and still after 10 years makes my heart skip a beat when i see him.

just before brad's promotion we learned that he will be deploying early next year. it really hasn't sunk in yet. when i think about it, i get sad. i knew it was coming obviously, but we were originally told aug 2011. so it puts this summer in perspective. everything is turning into, this year we should, we need to, what about....

i think of the impact it will have on the girls. too young to understand, but still affecting them. breonna and him took a long time to become buddies, and how long will it take them again? can i do it on my own? can i be strong enough? it was always over a year away, and now it's closer.

he is very excited. he's one of the last troops that will close out iraq, supposedly. that's from our pres and we know what that means.... nothing. he's excited to go as a lt and a platoon leader. "more action" he says. that makes my stomach flip

so a new page fast approaches our lives.

happy and sad.

the truth about me

i absolutely love my life. i have a wonderful husband who loves me regardless, three beautiful, healthy girls and we all like each other pretty well. it's easy to say i am very fulfilled.
that being said, here's the truth about me. my house is always just a little untidy. i hate housework. i get tired of it. it's the same thing day in and day out.
i am most always in my work out clothes, aka. pajamas. and that's how it's been for six years. i only change if i'm meeting someone or have an appointment. so yes, i am a chick who wears pj's at walmart.
i hate doing make up. i wouldn't be caught dead without my make up as a teenager, but now it's just a tedious task.
my kids watch more than the recommended two hours of tv a day. then the other hours they're on the computer or ds.
i cannot function without caffeine. it's the absolute first thing i do in the morning. i am truly addicted.
i hate my hair. i'm never happy with it.
i love tattoos. i wish i had more, and i wish mr h had some.
i love to cook, but i hate the clean up. i'd eat out everyday if i could, however that would just add to the 50 lbs i need to lose.
i'm the worst dieter in the world. i almost never last day one.
i like to exercise, but am too lazy to do it regularly.
my favorite thing to do is watch tv in bed.
so that's the truth. i completely understand if half of you remove yourself, and the other half........ welcome to the club.

breonna is 1!!!

what a year!! i can't believe it's been a year. breonna was alot of firsts for us. our first total surprise. i know i always make fun of people for saying that, but biologicaly, there is no way i should have got pregnant. our first for finding out the sex before delivery, and my first epidural. i would highly recommend the later. five weeks after she was born brad went to ok and we travelled up to canada. looking back, all i can say is i white knuckled it. my mom and brother came and helped and thank goodness. five months later we packed up again and white knuckled it to utah to meet up with brad. so great to be together again. what changes all the girls made in that short time. then we left utah and made our home in texas. and our little breezy has turned one. what a cutie! she's got heaps of curly hair, and the herkimer girl blue eyes. it's sure fun to have her around. happy birthday stinker!!

how to help

When someone you know is overwhelmed by life, confronted by obstacles that are a little too heavy to carry alone, it’s easy to feel unsure of how to respond. That’s the time to remember it’s not what you do, but that you do something. Often, we don’t realize that what may seem like a small gesture or an insignificant act to us can actually make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. This book offers practical ways on how to reach out to help someone and lend a hand. There are no perfect words, no perfect gestures. Simply reach out and touch someone’s heart. Be brave, be a little more generous, be kind.”

So goes the introduction for a little book called Do Good: 201 Ways to Lend a Hand. This is a sweet and often ingenious guide to helping us figure out ways in which we can help a loved one who needs support in some way. It got me thinking, when life’s difficulties come crashing over, what are the ways in which we can offer a little life raft for those who have always been there for us. I'd love to hear some ideas either that you've been given or recieved.

I'm so thankful for all the help I have recieved and the blessings I've had through given.

curious.....

sees something...... and must get it!!

service

i am one, most like others, who would rather serve than be served. a missionary long ago told me, "you serve the ones you love." how true. that's what makes, on some days, it easy to cook and clean for our frantic household. that makes it easy to help your husband find his wallet, keys at 5am. and that has happened more than once. it's easier to help your 6 yr old find that polly pocket dress that polly must wear, or have the steady stream of care bear books read to your 3 yr old. i love serving my family. i don't do it well, or always in a good mood, but knowing that i love my family and their needs are mostly met is the best feeling at the end of the day.

mover and shaker!

it only took 10 months, but breonna finally decided to get her diaper booty moving. what a world she has opened up. this little girl puts everything into her mouth. everything!!! some i will never divulge. ;-) it's great to see her explore and try to be like her big sisters. these next few years will be interesting.

this picture i was getting dinner ready and she thought she'd help herself to some frozen pizza. it was a hot day, why she's only in her skivies, and i'm sure the cold felt great on her gums. love those legs!!!

here she crawled right over to the basket of clothes i just finished folding and, well you can see. i heard that keeping a house up, cleaning, laundry etc, was like shoveling during a blizzard. as you can see, it's true with this one around!!

we are sure blessed to have our lil pumpkin. it's so great to see her growing and learning everyday. love you girlie!!

our bed

oh how i wish for a good nights sleep. we have been wrestling with seasonal allergies, climate change and new teeth for far too long.

however, when i do get into bed, i love it. brad and i used the money we got from our wedding to buy the cheapest queen size bed we could get. well fast forward 9 years, we are still using it....... untill this past november.

we have dear friends who sell beds for a very reasonably price. we decided after our summer/ fall apart we would "splurge" and get a nice king bed. the best decision ever!!! i absolutely love it. it's so soft and roomy. aaahhhh. pure bliss.

so on those sleepless nights, it's nice to be comforting the ones i love in a comfy bed.

thanks mick!!!

brownies

for those who know me, i will do anything for brownies. i love them!! love, love, love. but they are a main contributer for my extra poundage. recently we gave in to the p90x that is splattered all over the tv as of late. surprised to say i'm quite digging it. a great first week, if i do say so myself. however, on saturday i gave in easily, and made the girls what??? you guessed it. brownies. well i devoured them. i think i ate half a pan in two days.
good bye all my hard p90x work!!

so here's to a fresh, brownie- free week.

take care brownies. i'll see you in 90 days!!

the sun!!!

we have sun today!! i have lived in colder climate my whole life. hence the desire to move to texas. well central texas is a little different weather-wise compared to other parts of texas. i know it's wintertime, and it should be cold, however. when you think it's going to be warmer, it's a long and cold day when it's not. it has been grey skies for sooo loonng. i cannot believe the lack of motivation when the sky is grey. it's "sit on your couch and do nothing all day" weather.
so here's to the first of many sunny days!!

he's going to kill me......

but i just simply can not live without him. brad, my hubby.

i met brad on his mission. he was serving in the singles ward, which i rarely attended, in our stake. i was struggling with my testimony, and had a real negative attitude. i was really 'hard' with my tats and tounge ring, but elder herkimer wasn't put off.

one time, my parents were having a missionary's open house and the elders were invited. elder herkimer told me a story about his childhood in michigan. he told me he saved his allowance to buy two puppies. when he did he took them often in the mountains for walks etc. well in a few years, the female dog was attacked by a mountain lion and died. then the boy dog was so grief stricken he later died where the girl dog was burried. "to this day a red fern grows there."

sound familar?? he got me. i had never heard that story, and totally believed him!! little skunk. at that moment, i knew he'd have a role in my life.

well fast forward ten years and here we are. several moves, a new career, 3 children, and the list goes on. he is my absolute everything, and i am so thankful for him. he knows everything about me, and is okay with it.

i love you lt. herkimer.

isabelle chloe

as i moved away from my family 10 years ago, i was so twitterpated i never thought of what i'd miss. my sister gillian got married 2 months after i did, and i didn't have the documents to go across the border. so i missed her wedding. then the following feb she had a baby girl. isabelle chloe. missed that too. so the following june my sister leah got married and i had recieved my visa so i was able to go and be a bridesmaid at her wedding. that week i was up was the first time i'd get to hold, kiss and cuddle my new little niece. sadly it was the last as well. isabelle died peacefully in her sleep the following month. what heartbreak for my sister. i dropped everything to be by her side through this trial.

today is her birthday, and she would be 9. i can honestly say not a day goes by when i don't think of her and her mother. i am so grateful for the plan of salvation that allows us to be together forever. i am also grateful for gillian and her strength, and example of carrying on even on the toughest days.

i know she is watching over her mom, dad and brother, and in some ways, all of us. i think of the saying "Because someone we love is in heaven, we feel a little bit of heaven in our home." and the comfort it can bring.

we love and miss you dearly isabelle.

a year of blessings

a dear friend of mine, whom i miss dearly and really try to emulate, last year did her blog about all her blessings. i thought i would try it this year seeing i do have so much to be thankful for. it will really help me stay postive each week seeing what little things i am blessed with in my life. there is so much i take for granted. so each week i will post a blessing that i have in my life. i hope it's not too boring for you all!
my first blessing is family dinners. one thing growing up is we always had dinner together as a family. i actually thought everyone did until i got married and saw that some families are just "too busy" to eat together. thanks mom for enstilling this value in my life to pass down to my children.

laundry

one thing us mothers know is the laundry in never ending. it a "joke" in our house that we do a dark load, a white load and a pink load. here's the proof!!

breonna

only fair that i do a post for our breezy too! it's not hard to rant and rave about her. she was such a surprise in our lives. we had planned for her later than sooner, but with her we realize that we really have no say in the matter. she came, what seemed at the time like the worst time, but rather at the best time. i am so grateful for my mom and sister who were a graet help for me being a single mom for a bit while brad was gone. i couldn't have done it without them. i sure miss them and wish we could be closer:(

here are some cute pictures of our little cutester. she is a perfect mix of both hannah and ainnsley. i will be exciting to see who she morphs into over these years.

ainnsley

ainnsley is my funny lil' pumpkin. she has instantly grown up since breonna was born. i'm sure a lot of moms experience this. she does however she still "need" her sooie (binky), but we've been really good with only giving it to her at bedtime. i know, i know. i totally agree that i need it more than she does. it's another item that goes in the "worry about it later" file in my brain.

ainnsley has always been completely opposite from hannah. even in my tummy. then, brad and i didn't find out what sex our babies were before we had them, but i was so certain we were having a boy. my energy was different, my cravings, my morning sickness, everything was opposite. so naturally the sex should be opposite, right?? wrong! we had never been more shocked when the dr said she was a girl. i was thrilled. i immediately thought of all the cute clothes that she could wear.

ainns has always been funny. as a baby she hilarious. playing games with her eyes, laughing a lot. she was so content as well. she really needed to be seeing she wore a corrective helmet for her first year. what a trial for me. it was a lot of money, but if we could get insurance to cover it it would only be 20% of the cost. well we were denied because they thought she has "flathead" which can be avoided. ainnsley had a rare condition in which her head plates weren't fusing together. so we appealed and a friend recommended we call his lawyer friend who represented us... for free!! what a blessing!! with his help we won the appeal, and ainnsley's head was being shaped correctly. at that time i was sure there was no end in sight. looking back, it was just a blink of an eye.


we are so blessed to have our ainnsler's in our family. she knows she's funny, so we never know what hilarious thing will fly out of her mouth, at any given moment. don't get me wrong, she can be a super -grump at any given moment as well. the picture above is a rare moment where her and breonna were getting along. she means well with breonna, but her curiosity almost always ends up with breonna crying. we love you ainnslers!!