How can someone as ugly as me produce kids like this?

Well, that is my wife... Mrs. Nice. Someone in our relationship has to be. She always tells me it's "nice to be nice". I always ask, nice for whom? I'm glad she is nice, particularly to me, but her best feature is her uncompromising charity for others. If someone has a chance at salvation it is her. She wants people to feel good about themselves. I want people to know the truth. The truth is that they're idiots and their kids are ugly.

Speaking of which...while your kids are ugly and untalented, my kids are beautiful geniuses. I'm kidding....but your kids are not as cute as mine and I will come to blows with anyone who fights me on this point. We're still working on brain wash...erm, behavior modification on some days, but overall they are great kids who have a great future ahead of them as long as they listen to ME. I just dont understand how someone as ugly as myself helped to produce beautiful kids. It's all Bethany. There is no other explanation... well there is another one, but Bethany assures me...

LDAC is fast approaching, and while I'm getting a bit nervous I usually use that energy towards studying land navigation or going over squad tactics in my brain. For those of you who don't know what LDAC is you can google it. No, I'm not giving you a fricking link! Are you that lazy? Would you like a piece of cake as well? Kidding, kidding....kind of. No, LDAC is the final testing ground for our official Army ROTC education. If your going active duty and want a highly requested branch in the Army then you must do well at LDAC. LDAC is 32 days of leadership evaluation and training. Most of the time, your just a "joe", but there are specifically four times where you will be a leader in some capacity and you will be graded on several different dimensions.

Anyways, I digress, I should be concentrating on making you bloggers feel pathetic...which you all are. I realize that your dad and mom never really gave you the one on one time that you always felt you deserved, and you have channeled that feeling of neglect into a blog that gives you an overinflated sense of self worth. AHAHAHA. I'm kidding of course, I hang on every word you post. ;)